beginning the year in light — a poem

the violence of fireworks on New Year’s

beginnings, it seems, are not without destruction

small pockets of New York light up slowly descending upon still homes and babies crying out into the night, starting the year in fire seems cynical but we gather with families to watch light explode into the darkness, and pretend the seconds changing into years change us. the fireworks climb higher into the pockets of the sky and hold still in our eyes until they fizzle into the night, and I quietly count off each one as pieces of you that have clung to my memory and in between the expanse of darkness when I close my eyes. I pretend I can leave you behind with the seconds that tick down into years I watch everything I’ve held onto that I once called by your name go up in flames, the remains of me, forgotten and left slowly fizzling into the black of the night until only the stars and the skyline remain, blurring and combining as the last sizzles burn holes into and destroy themselves. left only with the flickering lights of the city and light you once used to shine with I leave you with the seconds and minutes you took, and pretend a fresh start comes with a countdown clock and confetti. feeling the fire on my face once more I no longer burn for you.